I am not prepared

Like many I have never expected to be in this position. I have 2 ill parents, one is sicker than the other. My mother has always had epilepsy so that is something we have dealt with my whole life. However, the past 2 months have opened my eyes to the new normal in my life. My mother was diagnosed with Parkinson’s which was a blow but something I thought we could manage. I was thinking that we would experience the stereotypical symptoms like shaking hands and balance issues. What I was not prepared for was the drastic decline from my outgoing mother who played bridge, mahjong and went to outings with friends, to a paranoid, delusional childlike woman in a 4 week period. The sundowners started slowly with a little confusion but it was a manageable side effect of the Parkinson’s, however the slight confusion then turned into screaming in the middle of the night, getting up over and over, and falling down sometimes causing injury other times not. This led to installing bedrails for children and learning a new sleep pattern which allows for a person to wake up at any noise that does not sound normal, such as screaming and the sound of falling. Then came the 1st major fall, walking into that bedroom after hearing yelling is a sight that I will always remember, seeing my mother laying on the floor mumbling and covered in blood from a head wound is not something I want to deal with ever again. That was either the first or second time that I had to call 911 in my life, for an ambulance to take her to the emergency room. Sitting in the ER for 7 hours for them to see her in this state of bleeding from the head, shouting nonsense, and not making sense and to have the hospital send her home and not admit her still boggles my mind. It makes me wonder if they had kept her overnight, would the following series of events have taken place.

What I did not know was how unprepared and unequipped I am to handle what was going to happen next and what was going to be required of me.

I know that many people have to deal with aging parents and some have had to deal with the things I am going through, I just hope that my blog and my experiences just show these people that you are not alone.