I am not prepared

When is it time to make the decision that your choices are not working? How do you know that you have done everything in your power and it is not enough. When do you realize that the decisions you are making are not for the person they are meant to but for yourself and your feeling of failing? Failing not just yourself and your family but the person that you are trying to keep going. I am just trying to figure out when do we say that we have done all we can and we have to send her to the hospital, how do I tell my dad that we cannot take care of his wife of 51 years. I was thinking yesterday that we are talking to doctors getting home heath aides, doing everything for her and it seems that she has just given up and we do not know why. Everyone that we have spoken to Doctors a like say that she should be doing better and should be focusing on getting better and getting back to her life. Our days consist of an hour here and there of her being lucid then its talking to people that are not there, calling for help when nothing is wrong, changing her, feeding her trying to keep her talking to us. Yesterday we were very close to taking her to the hospital but then I thought to myself what are they going to do, she does not need surgery she does not have any broken bones. We have spoken to the Neurologists and Psychologists in the hospital and they say that we need to speak to our doctors out of the hospital. It is so frustrating because we are trying and nothing seems to be working with us only against us. I feel like my life is cursed and I do not know how to fix it. I just want my mom better and it does not seem to be happening or will happen. I have told myself that I need to be more patient and I need to learn that this is not her half the time. I am trying to get my sister to come to see her mother but she hasn’t yet and it really irks me. I mean if you know your mother is not doing well why would you not come to see her. Our whole household is on edge and is on the brink of collapse we just have so much tension due to the decisions that were made to bring my mom home instead of putting her back in a rehab facility, Sorry about my rant today, I just needed to get it out and feel not so hopeless and alone.